from: Felix Okatch
PAYMENT OF DOWRY IS A MUST!!
The section of Marriage Bill 2011 which proscribes payment of dowry is inconsistent with Article 44 of the New Constitution. The Article respects people’s cultures and values but this Bill negates that position.
Payment of dowry, dubbed pride price is a cultural practice among African communities and cultures. The Europeans do not have this practice. The Asians have it in a different format. Similarly as Africans have polygamous marriages, the Europeans do not.
Our Laws must be consistent with our cultures not foreign thinking. For example, the Bukusu communities of Western Kenya have annual circumcision ceremonies; the Swazis have annual Reed Dances and many more. These are initiations into adulthood according to various communities and many more.
Payment of dowry is a cultural and matrimonial practice among most African communities. It marks the issues of amatory, that includes entry into adulthood.
As a matter of fact marriage is one of the most important conditions in human life. It is a condition which produces more problems just as it has more joy and satisfaction in life. On a bad note, it does end tragically at times besides causing misery. This can loosely be made attributable to ignorance of both man and woman in matrimony.
Forms and types of marriage are many and have evolved over time. They include marriage of one man to one woman (monogamy), one man to many women (polygamy), many men to one woman (polyandry), man to man (gay) and woman to woman(lesbianism). These are all marriages. It depends on which side of the equation you subscribe to.
Now let us turn to payment of dowry, the bride price. To Africans this practice is as old as life and there are no major complaints about it. Socially, economically and politically the dowry payment has not caused any manifestation of injury to those undertaking this practice.
The purpose of dowry is not money or sale of a bride. You cannot sell human beings. Slave trade was banned in 1884 and cannot happen in this era and time. Dowry payment is essentially a manifestation of commitment and agreement. It has no commercial value but social satisfaction. Among the southern Luos the word is not price but, agreeing. AYIE.
The payment which is a token symbolizes that the bridegroom accepts to take the bride to his home as wife permanently and for good. Dowry payment and agreement is a ghost contract and the payer receives the bride. It is done publicly, in the day time, and in presence of close relatives and in-laws from both sides of the divide.
In absence of such a ceremony, the bride is alleged to have eloped; she is cheap, low value and many more derogatory silent insinuations.
The word bride price does not signify monetary value of substance. If it was of actual monetary value, it could have been construed to mean slavery yet it is not. On the other hand it does not show that it is paid according to economic value of the bride. It is just a way of thanking, appreciation to the parents of bridegroom, acceptance, AYIE.etc
Payment of dowry is usually an occasion of festive nature, not a hidden affair. It is at day light and well publicized ceremony that gives pride to the parents, in-laws, and all other close relatives on both sides of the divide. This occasion can also be rejected by either bridal party if one side is suspected to be sorcerers, witches or close relatives. Note that relatives are not supposed to be married tone another.
This bride payment ceremony would also help parents and close relatives determine whether the bride and bridegroom are related. This calls for vetting on consanguinity, which is, checking on blood relationship. People do not marry their relatives. This must be checked at the point of paying and receiving dowry.
This Marriage Bill 2011 assumes that all people planning to get married stay in town, they know that they are not related and also do not need any parental guidance on marriage. But this is not so. Marriage though seen as a union of the parties in exclusion of the others but the real world is not so. You cannot live alone. Man /woman are social beings and need other just as others need them.
Bride price/Dowry in an African context makes sure that things do not fall apart. From experience due care is taken in advance so that a marriage does not fall apart.
The coming of Christianity in East Africa as from years 1800 by missionaries like Livingston, Krapf, and Rebman etc. brought with it a lot of Christian definitions of marriage. These are in the bible. They include quotations from the Holy Bible like; (1. Cor.6:17), (Eph.5:30, 31), (Deut.22:28, 29), (Mark 10:9) What God has joined together let no man separate’
As for southern Luos of Kenya, marriage is one of the ways in which they fulfill some of their customary rites. These range from pre-marital visits, making of homes, and burial ceremonies among others. The Luos believe in agnatic lineage (naming the dead) for their ancestors and also the principle of primogeniture, the first born starts a journey and others follow in that order etc.
Therefore failing to pay dowry/bride price can raise many cultural issues even after death of either spouse. This means that some aspects of insisting that dowry be paid after death is possible if it was not paid during a life time of married couples in question.
Among these southern Luos, there are instances where it is a taboo for a first born to be married to another first born. Similarly last born are not supposed to marry their fellow last born. This might sound biologically nonsensical but when bad omen or spirits befalls the two, then these are the matters that come up. They would lead to questions as to why did such matters get resolved at the stage of paying dowry. Culturally these issues get handled at premarital stages, hence bride price ceremony.
Therefore this section of the Bill is repugnant to cultural beliefs of some communities. It is in conflict with the Article 44 of the New Constitution. It does not respect cultural beliefs.
Felix Owaga Okatch
Wuod Gem Nyawara, Siaya County
Tel: 254-721-735489 or 0733-735489
E-mail: felixokatch@yahoo.com
What a wonderful article from ‘Jaloka’. Am not baptizing this bright and culturally conscious Luo man, but out of love for his article also wish to proudly call him ‘onagi’. I fear from near and far that a constitution meant to usher our people into the future could be used to undercut our long preserved culture and practice in regards to payment of dowry/pride price. One Luo man once beat up his wife who then sobbed uncontrollable. Astonishingly, when the man overcome with guilt walked back to the woman in apparent bid to cool her down and uttered to her that ”you know I love you very much and that is why I paid your parents twenty head of cattle as bride price…..please forgive me for overeacting” than the woman started to cool down and within seconds engaged the man in a lovely chart. I leant the bride price has a profound calming effect and binds families together. Who would not wish to have a well knit family even in times of trouble? I therefore propose that Counties be allowed to come up with their own laws on marriage to enable the Luo community through their counties continue to pay the bride price/dowry lest we be swallowed by these nonsensical foreign ideas.
Am a Luo from Siaya and waiting to introduce my boyfriend to my parents! am currently out of the country and do not know much of the traditions. My fiancée is from the Southern part of Africa…so he is not aware of the Eastern Africa’s cultures more over Luo. Is there anything that he shd be doing or carrying while going home…coz we plan to go together! is it wrong…pliz help!
Aoko.T.
Sorry Felix ,but you are one of those people who are stuck in the dark past where women were treated as property for sale to the highest bidder. It is because of bride price that many luo girls leave their homes for a life of servitude and opression then end up being battered to death.