Why do people behave civilized at work and not so at home?

Date: Thu Jun 25 16:48:57 EDT 2009
From: Awino Rayier <>
Subject: Why do people behave civilized at work and not so at home?

Why do people behave civilized at work and not so at home? I mean everyone is so “Yes sir/mom”, “Thank you sir/mom”, “I’ll be happy to do it sir/mom”, “What else can I do for you Sir/mom”; yet when return home, the language gets nasty. Is it because people are paid to be nice, so they act nice for the money? Then there is this other phenomenal of adjusted good behavior at home, when visitors are around. What is that about?

23 thoughts on “Why do people behave civilized at work and not so at home?

  1. okumu kwanga

    i think this due to self imposed rules of eticate especially in a crowd enviroment. remember perception is reality,(no one in their right mind want to known as the jerk,self conceited,egotistical) but @ work, you have no choice but to behave accordingly or you are out of there

  2. Omuga kokeyo

    The office setting has clear boundaries and socially accepted norms. The Human animal is highly adaptable, it is then not surprising to witness to sets of characters of a single persona in diffrent environments. Talk about survival for image sake.

  3. william

    Awino now i will tell you something
    first i will quote the bible that says you shall know them by their fruits. if you see a guy who is a mr. nice in office and calls his wife and kids names when he gets home,batters his wife,doesnt respect the neighbour, these guy is an imposter and only wears a mask in office otherwise his real self is what he does at home
    secondly you cannot blow hot and cold at the same time
    ie you cannot serve two masters
    there are no two ways to these
    we should be good in office and at home
    saying we are nice in office because we are paid is not true

  4. John

    Every humam being has more than one personality.
    some have what we call personallity disorders dependig on enviroment they are in.For exampleYou will find a adult jaluo uprooting a railway line at kibera coz of something naive and yet you find him adminstering first aid to an accident victim which has been caused by him damaging the line

  5. Jonathan

    Its because of work ethics which are learned while at home there are no laid down ethics and procedures to be followed in relation to behaviour

  6. Oluoch Wasonga Joab

    I think this is a nice topic Jothurwa. It is on the note that Jaluo will build a very good background at kapango because he/she is aware that work mates can visit at any time in case of sickness or birthday party of a child. The behaviour is also due to what we call role-playing effect….doing what you think people want you to do at that specific time.

    Workplaces have different norms and cultures. This can rearely be applied similarly at home. Another thing is that at home one might be the creator of rules. Some of these rules at the workplace might be unfavourable or demeaning hence at home they become undesirable.

    However, it noteworthy that what we learn at a good workplace environment should be implemented at home too for the approapraite work-life balance. A good facilitative supervisor should make a good parent too….try it!

  7. joe

    It means that people respect their places of work. That´s simply office ettiquete, nothing more.

  8. erick o odijeh

    Back at home is the first office you have and it is pamanent. people who tend to leave two lives in office and at home cheet themselves and try to follow them they dont prosper some are even ruled by their wives.

  9. Benson CHEGE

    Is the fact that people feel more relaxed within their home environment which offers refuge and comfort zone and are able to let hair down and don’t have to worry about being on their best manners at all.

  10. Erick wuo Odijeh

    The fact that people tend tho think too much about themself and convince themself when they cheat themself and dont want to come back to reality back at home and at work this is the problem.

  11. victor

    joluo wetena. due to office rules and regulations shall make somebody to be civilized but at home every body live free and control himself/herself.

  12. wycliffe juma

    may be because some people especially men feel they are superior at home and no one has a say rather them but at work its different coz you have your boss whether you are a md or not

  13. victor

    African people are always after money that’s why at work place they have to be civilize because of payments but at home things are randomly

  14. Oluoch Ndege Jakombewa

    Hey Mheshimiwa! You are right. But please remove the word African. There are some behaviours that are not limited to Africans. Work was a communal affair in A0frica hence we were disciplined both at the community level and family level.

  15. Arreddo Nyang

    Jaduong Oluoch:

    A community/family cannot be disciplined when her individual members are not, thus discipline starts with you – the individual.

    I tend to disagree somewhere by just calling someone sir or his name does not necessarily mean one is civilized! All these are inborn and cultivated with time.

    Arreddo Nyang’

  16. Joab Filberts Oluoch (Ndege Jakombewa)

    Areddo Nyang’

    Thanks for your observation. I come from the lake so that name scares me. Though…can we say that History has made us indisciplined even at work? The case of Miguna at work…was that professional discipline with indiscipline at home? Did he consider the reaction back at home or was it a mixture of what Jaduong’ Areddo is saying. Do you agree that we can slay a brother at work to remain professional?

    Oluoch Ndege Ja’Kombewa

  17. sabare joshua(jagot-kojowi)

    this so because most people are learned but not educated. so they are learned fools. they have not known whom they are and what they are made of. they are not guided by reason and they don’t think outside the box. often they trust their senses which are deceptive and biased. the golden rule is do unto other what you expect them to do unto you.such people should be coerced to take a course on critical and creative thinking and preferably in Kenyatta university.


  18. Akinyi

    I think we take our own people for granted. We behave the way we are naturally according to our personality. I for example, I don’t shout so I’d never shout at work or at home. But I’d top up Sabare’s suggestion for guys to take a course on how to relate with family and relatives at home.

  19. Alando

    Amor yudo mbuyi makani, nende aparo ni anyalo puonjra Dholuo to kara kendo mbaka ji goyo mana gi dho odiero yawa. Jokanyanam, dhowa mit. Warite uru mana kaka gweno rito nyithinde kuom otenga! Dho odier ok rach ng’eyo to kata kamano seche ma watwak to ber go ka watuak gi dhowa e ka wamedo ng’eye kendo wamedo mor kode.

  20. pascal -raila's thinking tank

    tz because in houses u r abit confirned 2 responsibility n t last longer. in job tz not parmanent n u can easily transfer bt u cant tranfer in a relationship

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