There is a plan. No. A scheme amongst the non-progressives, to take over Kenya from where the constitution has brought us thus far. To take back from Wanjiku what we recently an rightly gave to her – self determination, self rule, madaraka rather than autocracy. The Mount Kenya Autocracy.

There are a few good men and women in Kenya. No. There are plenty. These folks have had the courage to tell the president, ‘Sir your fly is open and the children are laughing at your checkered underwear.’ These good men and women are, Karua, Jaoko, Mutula, Nyachae, Marende, Muite, Gitobu, Gicheru, Musinga, Wako, and others. Surely if you disbelieve your co-principal, how can you suddenly refuse to follow the advise of these Kenyans whom you yourself trusted and still do?

I digress. There are some fallacies. Lots of fallacies but here below are a few that drive me nuts.

1) I am a tribalist because Raila is a Luo and I am Luo and I support him for president in 2012.
2) Raila evicted squatters and encroachers from Mau because he was getting even with Ruto.
3) Anan is a distant Relative of Raila, so he only pressured only Kibaki to share 50% of the loaf which rightly belonged to the latter.
4) Of course, Ocampo is also a Luo what with his name beginning with the letter O. So all he cares about are joluo. He is also a Raila relative and he is solely out to fix Raila opponents and not seek justice for victims and perpetrators of PEV.
5) Even though Judge Musinga took an oath to provide justice, and even though he might have been appointed by the Kibaki administration, he is a Raila puppet. Otherwise, how could he dare rule against Kibaki move in appointing AG, CJ and DDP?
6) Though Kibaki appointed folks in the JSC, Raila cast a spell over all of them. That is why they said Kibaki appointments were against the spirit of the new constitution.
7) Marende must be Raila’s cousin. He does not, and cannot interpret the Kenya Constitution despite him being a lawyer in his own right.
8) The AU is also under the spell of Raila. By asking Raila to mediate in Ivory Coast, AU decision was orchestrated at Orange House.
9) It is expected that Obama (the crooked one in Luo) will chaperon USA to use its veto power to reject deferring Kenya’s ICC/PEV case.
10) France and Britain will also use their veto power to reject deferring Kenya’s ICC/PEV case, not because it is not a government position (a government position means both principals have agreed), but because Raila is related to David (Kar Mer Orna) Cameron and Nicolas (Ser ka ori) Sarkozy
11) The UN under Ban (Bam Kim) Moon will reject Kenya’s plea to defer the ICC/PEV case because consultations were not made with Raila. They will not reject it on basis that, Kenya, under President Kibaki’s previous tenure voluntarily committed our country when he signed the ICC treaty.
12) Nothing good in Kenya moves, and no one makes a good decision independently without Raila waving his magic wand or having his dirty finger in it. In fact there are no few good men or women left in Kenya.

These are the fallacies the non-progressives want you to believe.

And so my fellow progressives, my 10th great grandfather Ragem asks you to believe that come this Tuesday, the non-progressives may show up with more desperate measures. They may come with a motion to censure Marende, to impeach and evict Raila from the position of Prime Minister, or they may regroup, conveniently but illegally marry Ruto’s UDM, then seek a divorce with ODM.

Since they may be believers of the fallacies above, they may believe that NARA (National Accord & Reconciliation Act) which is a product begotten of ODM & PNU marriage, is not their son or daughter, just because ODM has lost a lotta madiaba and looks a bit different!

Let me tell you something, in a fair court, the judge wisely shares family assets between those seeking divorce evenly and it takes time to get it, unless those the party asking for the divorce faster is willing not to contend ownership of otherwise disputed assets.

I, and not my 10th great grandfather Ragem, urges you to fasten your seat belts for a fast approaching campaign period whose elections, like Spring, may just be in the air.

—

Joram Kaulikazi Ragem

wuod Ndinya, wuod Onam, wuod Amolo, wuod Owuoth, wuod Oganyo, wuod Mumbe, wuod Odongo, wuod Olwande, wuod Adhaya, wuod Ojuodhi, wuod Ragem (You may be my relative, but it matters less now. This is New Kenya!)

Kibaki, Marende & Raila