Date: Thu, 29 Jan 2009 06:05:17 -0800 [01/29/2009 08:05:17 AM CST]
From: edla muga
Subject: Re: The folly of pointing fingers

spot on Kaburia. This goes too for persons who lable others shallow… and then say it is not an insult……..None of us is above board, I beleive, we are all tainted by this selfishness , tribalism , racism etc because at one point or another, we have all been party to it. Right now on Bidii, my brothers and sisters from Central are on the spot or so it seems…….But Robert has also talked about being labelled ujaluo just the other day etc. it does not feel good.

What I like about bidii arguments though is that we all seem to be exploring finding a higher ground. ….., Some kind of compromise…

— On Thu, 1/29/09, Harun Kaburia wrote:

From: Harun Kaburia
Subject: The folly of pointing fingers
Date: Thursday, January 29, 2009, 4:40 AM

Guys,

I would like to open my argument with several well-worn cliches:

a) You can change a man – in diapers
b) You are in no control of what anyone does or says to you, but you are 100% in control of what you do or say to them
c) Be the change you want to see in others

Am motivated by the fact that every once in a while, people expressing their opinions in this forum have been branded / and have branded others as tribalists and racists, and other not-so flattering names. I once read a book that suggested that human beings are so selfish that they never want or wish to have anything negative associated with them. In their quest to look and feel beyond reproach, a part of the human mind blocks out all perceived negative notions, and projects them to others, such that it appears like it’s the others who have the negative character.

The book went further to suggest that any time you see something negative in someone else that irks you or rubs you the wrong way, before attempting to criticise or lable the other person, check your own sentiments and feelings, and more often than not, you will be shocked to realise that you have the same characteristic that you want to criticise, but in an attempt to appear nice and beyond reproach, you have blocked it out!

a.k.a., people who label others as tribalists are tribalists themselves, people who label others as racist are racists themselves, people who refer to other people as selfish are selfish themselves, etc.

Am I suggesting that people should not be criticised for perceived wrong doing? Not at all! What am advocating for are three things:

i) Before criticising someone or anything, make sure you are better than the person you want to criticise.
ii) Try (hard as it may be!!) to put yourself in other people’s shoes, then you can know what pinches them and argue from an informed viewpoint.
iii) Before attempting to remove the speck from someone else’s eye, remove the LOG from your own!!