Dear Kenyans,

Most have wondered who advices Raila. I do, among others. This time, I want to share with you all my advice which I have just placed on his hands.

Raila, Jomo Kenyatta’s political relations with Jaramogi Oginga Odinga fell apart, and this among other more important issues like land grabbing, is the reason Kenya is the way it is today. This also was the onset of tribalism. You have done very good to mend the situation and end this curse, and to this you get an A minus.

However, you are not being treated kindly and we are fed up. Kibaki has pata poteyad you more than three times already yet you should be able to know there is no ace in those cards. Even a two year old would know that the father is bluffing if he came home the third day without peremende. Kibaki is not honest in his dealings, yet you keep giving it a try. Fine. You may have the patience of Job, but please, understand that other Kenyans may not, and this is not about you. It is about us.

Listen, you joined Arap Moi to strengthen his government when he needed you most. He rewarded you with Uhuru. You said ‘Kibaki Tosha!’ You even crisscrossed the country and campaigned for him when he was debilitated. He reneged on the MoU. Kibaki stole the last elections from us and the whole world caught him red handed. You compromised for the sake of the dying and agreed to share power with him on our behalf, yet he rewarded you with Karua, Kimunya, Karaitu, Saitoti, Kalonzo, Kilonzo, Uhuru, and others with fat ministries. Though you managed to get ‘jukwaa bila choo, nusu mkeka na baraza bila PC’ You were outsmarted. You were not and have never been an equal partner. Like Abonyo said, when Kibaki was away, you were not, have never been, and may never be in-charge as long as Kibaki is president.

You have finally said enough is enough! So, like a spouse in an abusive relationship, like a child who has finally told his bully “I have had it. Today I confront you”, you must act completely differentley from the way you and your predecessors have acted in the far and near past, with the way you have dealt your cards at the negotiation table. This is because, your opponent has not changed, and will not change in this part of the world and especially at this point in time.

So, wuod Ragem, what must you do differentlythis time? You must only agree to deal in the full glare of the public eye and ear! No more, no less. Yes, do not agree to any deal in private! Only an imbecile will trust Kibaki’s word with all you have experienced already. Let Kibaki not charm you with “Sweetie, Wadura Mera. Nengwendete mono, rehe peremende.” in private only because he wants something. I am calling on the world to witness that I have pointed to you that this is Kibaki’s language in the dark. Remember also that real men do not do too many things in private with another man, lest they be called gay. Make him say his position in public, as you do yours. We all thought his kitchen cabinet, or spouse or Mt Kenya mafia interfered with his decision and that he was held by the balls when it was time to act decisively. No no no. Hapana! We were wrong. Do not be fooled again either. There is only one hardliner to reforms. It is Kibaki, and he is his own man. Deal with him squarely forthwith, forthright and openly. Make him hold his cards on the table, and trade yours openly also. If it cannot be live, have it recorded by independent media with an open understanding not to edit the video and agree that it be aired later to all of us.

If you do not get this deal, do not deal with kibaki alone again. Come back to us and let us force changes through civilian mass action. If you do not deal with Kibaki again openly, do not cry to us again. It was painful to see it once last week at the coast when you said this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n13FAzuY_fA&playnext=3&playnext_from=QL

For behold, we saw you cry once a week ago after Kilanguni and don’t want see it again. Another cry like that would certainly break our female Carmel’s back.
Thus sayest my 10th great grandfather, Ragem.

—
Joram Ragem
wuod Ndinya, wuod Onam, wuod Amolo, wuod Owuoth, wuod Oganyo, wuod Mumbe, wuod Odongo, wuod Olwande, wuod Adhaya, wuod Ojuodhi, wuod Ragem! (Are you my relative?)

– – –
Date: Tue, 14 Apr 2009 23:23:15 -0400 [04/14/2009 10:23:15 PM CDT]
From: Joram Ragem
Subject: Agwambo, Negotiate With Kibaki In Private At Your’s & Our Own Risk.