From: joachim omolo ouko
News Dispatch with Father Omolo Beste
MONDAY, MARCH 24, 2014

Lucy (not her real name) writes: “Dear Father, I am married with 4 children. We are not divorced yet with my husband but separated. I filed divorce case last year when I found out that my husband was having mpango wa kando (secret women outside) and dumped me with children.

I realized this when he could not cater for our family basic needs like food, and being reluctant in paying school fees for children. I managed to find the number of one of his secret women and when I called her to find out why she is moving with my husband she abused me terribly. It is a shame Father.

I agree with your homily that with this marriage bill that a man will not consult with his wife when he wants to marry second wife will bring conflicts in many families, and believe me many families are going to break up.

Now Father what are catholic bishops saying about this, they seem to be silence on this issue. I think they should come in one voice to oppose the bill. Otherwise thank you very much your homilies are indeed enriching and down to earth. God bless your work”.

Thank you for raising this issue Lucy. I do agree with you that when bishops speak about it they can be heard and may be to change the mind of the president in signing it into law. May be they are preparing to make a statement, we are to wait see their reaction.

The amendment was moved by Justice and Legal Affairs Committee chairman Samuel Chepkong’a, saying under customary law, women or wives you have married do not need to be told when you’re coming home with a second or third wife.

The Marriage Bill seeks to combine seven laws on marriage, divorce and come-we-stay unions. It also recognises polygamy and the payment of dowry for customary marriages. It was introduced in July 2013 and is now in the final stage — the Third Reading — in the National Assembly. The Bill states that those marrying must be 18 years or older.

Even in Islam where polygamy is allowed, with the specific limitation that a man can have four wives at any one time, experience has shown that the contemporary Muslim woman is not happy to have a co-wife.

Even though the Qur’an clearly states that men who choose this route must deal with their wives justly, with high cost of life today it is almost impossible for a Muslim man to cater for his many wives and children.

A husband does not have to have permission from his first wife to marry another wife, even though many Muslim women today would like their husbands to consult them before marrying another wife.

Although traditionally it is believed that men were marrying many wives in order to have many children, according to evolution pioneer Charles Darwin men have historically practiced polygamy as a way to both please their sexual desires and maintain household dominance.

In his 1871 book The Descent of Man, Darwin stated that “Judging from the social habits of man as he now exists, and from most savages being polygamists, the most probable view is that primeval man aboriginally lived in small communities, each with as many wives as he could support and obtain, whom he would have jealously guarded against all other men”.

Most Christian theologians however, argue that Christians should not marry many wives. Theologians base their argument on Matthew 19:3-9 and Genesis 2:24 that Jesus explicitly states a man should have only one wife.

Basil of Caesarea also wrote in the 4th century of plural marriage that “such a state is no longer called marriage but polygamy or, indeed, a moderate fornication. He ordered that those who are engaged in it should be excommunicated for up to five years, and “only after they have shown some fruitful repentance were they to be allowed back into the church.

This was the same time in the 4th century that St Augustine wrote that the good purpose of marriage is better promoted by one husband with one wife, than by a husband with several wives. Justin Martyr, Irinaeus and Tertullian also spoke against polygamy, condemning it.

Remember that not all Christian churches have the same view in polygamy. The Nigerian Celestial Church of Christ allows clergy and laymen to keep multiple wives, and the Lutheran Church of Liberia began allowing plural marriage in the 1970s.

Several other denominations permit those already in polygamous marriages to convert and join their church without having to renounce their multiple marriages. These include the African instituted Harrist Church, started in 1913.

Even the Anglican Church made a decision at the 1988 Lambeth Conference to admit those who were polygamists at the time they converted to Christianity, subject to certain restrictions. Polygamy was first discussed during the Lambeth Conference of 1888:

“That it is the opinion of this Conference that persons living in polygamy be not admitted to baptism, but they may be accepted as candidates and kept under Christian instruction until such time as they shall be in a position to accept the law of Christ.

That the wives of polygamists may, in the opinion of this Conference, be admitted in some cases to baptism, but that it must be left to the local authorities of the Church to decide under what circumstances they may be baptized, according to resolution 5.

Fr Joachim Omolo Ouko, AJ
Tel +254 7350 14559/+254 722 623 578
E-mail obolobeste@gmail.com

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From: joachim omolo ouko
News Dispatch with Father Omolo Beste