Category Archives: Marriage

Nigeria: Boko Haram terrorists deny ceasefire claim by Nigeria s government

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From: ‘frank patrick materu’

The group’s leader, Abubakar Shekau, said the girls had converted to Islam and been married off since being taken, the BBC reported. But the Boko Haram leader said the girls were “in their marital homes” after being married off by the group, the BBC reported.

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Saturday, November 1, 2014

Boko Haram terrorists deny ceasefire claim by Nigeria’s government

By Michael Ireland
Special Correspondent, ASSIST News Service

LAGOS, NIGERIA (ANS) — In a video released by Boko Haram, showing its leader Abubakar Shekau delivering a speech on October 31, the group denies the Nigerian Government’s claim they have reached a ceasefire agreement.

The video, released on Friday and a screenshot of which was posted to the BBC website, was Boko Haram’s first statement after the government announced a ceasefire.

Boko Haram denied claims by Nigeria’s government that it has agreed to a ceasefire and would release more than 200 abducted schoolgirls.

The group’s leader, Abubakar Shekau, said the girls had converted to Islam and been married off since being taken, the BBC reported.

The BBC earlier reported that Nigeria’s army announced a ceasefire with the militants on October 17, saying the girls would soon be freed.

But the BBC says violence has continued since news of the alleged truce, including a fatal bomb blast on Friday.

Boko Haram has been fighting an insurgency since 2009, with some 2,000 civilians reportedly killed this year, the BBC said.

In the video released on Friday, Abubakar Shekau said: “We have not made ceasefire with anyone. We did not negotiate with anyone. It’s a lie. We will not negotiate. What is our business with negotiati on? Allah said we should not.”

The BBC said Shekau also claimed that the militants were holding a German national, thought to be a teacher, who was kidnapped by gunmen in July.

The BBC said there was no indication of when or where the group’s latest video was shot.

In its analysis, the BBC’s Tomi Oladipo in Lagos says the video will come as a huge embarrassment for the Nigerian government after it said it had secured a ceasefire with Boko Haram.

The BBC added that newspapers with headlines on the Chibok girls and their possible release are displayed at a news stand in Abuja. The October 1, 2014 News of the government announcement supposedly sealing a truce with Boko Haram made the front pages.

The BBC explained that the Islamist militants sparked global outrage in April by abducting 219 schoolgirls from the remote north-eastern town of Chibok, in Borno state. Their continued captivity has led to criticism of the Nigerian government’s efforts to secure their release.

It added that hopes were raise d earlier this month when Nigeria’s chief of defense staff, Alex Badeh, announced a truce with the group.

“They’ve assured us they have the girls and they will release them,” he said. “I am cautiously optimistic.”

But the Boko Haram leader said the girls were “in their marital homes” after being married off by the group, the BBC reported.

The BBC added that last week, Human Rights Watch said in a report that Boko Haram was holding more than 500 women and young girls captive and that forced marriage was common in the group’s camps.

Share See all ASSIST News articles at www.assistnews.net
** Michael Ireland is a volunteer Internet Journalist and licensed minister who has served as Chief Correspondent and Senior International Correspondent for ASSIST News Service ASSIST News Service. since 1998. He has reported for ANS from Jamaica, Mexico, Nicaragua, Israel, Jordan, China, and Russia. For a digest of ANS stories, log-on to Mike’s Monitor at https://paper.li/Michael_ASSIST/1410023867

SECRETS OF GOOD MARRIAGE

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From: joachim omolo ouko
News Dispatch with Father Omolo Beste
SATURDAY, AUGUST 30, 2014

Collette from Eastleigh, Nairobi writes: “Fr Beste I always like your articles on marriage and relationship, especially the current on how Emmanuel Kant defined marriage. Are there some philosophers who have made comments on marriage, especially one that explains what makes good and lasting marriage?

I was also touched by the life of St. Augustine and how he got converted. Did he also write on marriage, if so please can you share with us? Thank you Father and keep on the good work you are doing to educate us.”

Thank you for this interesting question Collette. Philosopher Hegel offers some secrets to your question. For good and lasting marriage he argues must be founded on true love. Love in terms the consciousness of unity with one another.

Marriage, as the immediate type of ethical relationship, contains first, the moment of physical life; and since marriage is a substantial tie, the life involved in it is life in its totality, i.e. as the actuality of the race and its life-process.

Secondly, in self-consciousness the natural sexual union — a union purely inward or implicit and for that very reason existent as purely external — is changed into a union on the level of mind, into self-conscious love.

For Hegel, sex union should just be the core of that love and not the primary reason for marriage. That is why you can still love and be faithful to your husband or wife even if sexual union does not take place for some reasons.

Marriage should be in essence an ethical tie. The ethical aspect of marriage in this case consists in the parties’ consciousness of this unity as their substantive aim, and so in their love, trust, and common sharing of their entire existence as individuals.

For St. Augustine union of male and female for the purpose of procreation is the natural good of marriage. Fidelity he argued is the very act in which married partners pay the debt they owe to each other. Fidelity must be kept even in the event of divorce. The strength of this bond is on account of the “sacramentum” of a greater reality.

I would also like to add here that the power of prayer is very important in marriage. Many of us give up on prayer when we don’t get the answer we want when we want it. For nearly two decades, Saint Monica prayed for her husband Patricius and son Augustine.

Patricius was known to be an abusive man with a volatile temper.  Monica continued to attend church services nearly every day and prayed for her husband with an undeniable fervor. Her love and devotion transformed Patricius.

Fr Joachim Omolo Ouko, AJ
Tel +254 7350 14559/+254 722 623 578
E-mail obolobeste@gmail.com

Omolo_ouko@outlook.com
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KENYA: KISUMU MCA INFECTS COLLEAGUE WITH SYPHILIS DISEASE

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By Our Reporter

Some members of Kisumu County Assembly are calling upon the area Medical Director Dr.Ojwang’ Lusi to invoke the Public Health Act and arrest one of their colleagues who has a sexually transmitted disease which he infected a female colleague with during their recent retreat in Kwale within Coast Region.

The agitated MCAs are saying that if their colleague is not treated then he will paint the county red with his venereal disease as witnessed recently.

“The female MCA who comes from Nyakach Constituency no longer stays with the husband as she infected the husband with that “thunder” and she was sent away, I am really surprised that in this era some people still have sexual intercourse without protection “lamented one of his colleagues.

Another MCA added that if the said people’s representative is not forcefully taken for treatment then they will introduce a bill to compel the Medical Director to treat him or obtain a court order.

They wonder how many of the leaders’ female voters have faced what their female colleague underwent.

“Seems he has infected many with that STI as he has a very itchy loins and he is always randy” added another female MCA.

The always shabby haired, thick, squawky walking and illiterate MCA who is behind the damage was once the late Kisumu Town MP Job Omino’s house boy and later became  a pimp for most luo leaders which has twice earned him nomination on Raila Odinga led party for two terms as he has never won any of the party’s primaries.

He is said to have had the STI disease since he entered the assembly and has been spreading it like bush fire.

Contacted for comment, the legislature said that its his closeness to Raila that is making his fellow MCAs to say those things against him.

“That my fellow MCA wanted to blackmail me with the said issue but I told her off regardless of anything which happened, we were all given allowances for the meeting why did she want my money” he added saying he was going to make an official  report to the police about the incident

REACTIONS ON FATHER OKECH’S BOOK

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From: joachim omolo ouko
News Dispatch with Father Omolo Beste
WEDNESDAY, JULY 9, 2014

A widow who does not want her name revealed writes: “Fr Omolo Beste I am a young catholic widow aged 37. I read your article on dealing with the loneliness as one the most challenging problems faced by widowed mothers with great interest.

While I agree with you that the inheritors are there only to exploit the widows, mainly for cheap sex and not interested in taking care of the children they produce with these poor women, at the same time I don’t agree with catholic doctrine that widows should remain single.

I really long to read that book by Fr Joseph Okech- I am not sure how much he has treated this issue of widows in his book. Surely Fr Beste, how can I remain single at my age? Give me a break bwana!”

Thank you for your openness. In fact Catholic Doctrine does not bar widows from getting remarried provided that this is done according to the Catholic teaching. You can get a single man to marry in church. This can happen in your husband’s home according to African tradition.

Many African traditions and culture don’t allow widows to leave her husband’s home because of the dowries. Once an African husband dies his wife cannot leave his home to be remarried in another man’s home because of this dowry condition.

As I said earlier I have not read Fr Okech’s book so I cannot say exactly how much he has dealt with this issue of widow and inheritors. Among the Luo of Kenya for example, widows have traditionally been inherited to a local clansman who has his wife and children. This type of remarriage is what the Catholic Church does not allow, in that, this man is married with children and again inherit a widow.

Their interest actually is not in a widow’s welfare but simply cheap sex. That is why they don’t support widows socially and financially. They are not able to take care of medical, education, food, and clothings of the children they produce. Instead a widow is to work extra time to get enough money to feed the man. This is what I referred to my article as the exploitation of the high class.

At 37 I can understand how you feel. Paul speaks directly of your situation, too. “A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. If the husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. But in my judgment she is happier if she remains as she is” (1 Cor. 7:39-40).

Although remarriage is clearly permissible, yet some widows find it very difficult to remain single as Paul suggests. In fact some widows don’t feel “happier”, that is why they opt for inheritance.

Pope Pius XII observes concerning the widowed “…others after the death of their spouse, have consecrated to God their remaining years in the unmarried state . . . have chosen to lead a life of perfect chastity . . . for love of God to abstain for the rest of their lives from sexual pleasure, in order to devote themselves more freely to the meditation of divine things and better experience the elevations of the spiritual life.”

Fr Joachim Omolo Ouko, AJ
Tel +254 7350 14559/+254 722 623 578
E-mail obolobeste@gmail.com

Omolo_ouko@outlook.com
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Africa: Husbands & Wives

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WOMAN AS MOTHER AND WIFE IN AFRICA
from: joachim omolo ouko
News Dispatch with Father Omolo Beste
TUESDAY, JULY 8, 2014

Woman as Mother and Wife in the African Context of the Family in the Light of John Paul II’s Anthropological and Theological Foundation: The Case reflected within the Bantu and Nilotic Tribes of Kenya is a book written by Rev Fr Joseph Okech Adhunga, a member of the Apostles of Jesus Missionaries.

This study examines the theological and anthropological foundations of the understanding of the dignity and vocation of woman as a mother and wife, gifts given by God that expresses the riches of the African concept of family.

There are two approaches to inculturation theology in Africa, namely, that which attempts to construct African theology by starting from the biblical ecclesial teachings and find from them what features of African culture are relevant to the Christian theological and anthropological values, and the other one which takes the African cultural background as the point of departure.

The first section examines the cultural concept of woman as a mother and wife in the African context of the family, focusing mainly on the Bantu and Nilotic tribes of Kenya. This presentation examines African creation myths, oral stories, some key concepts, namely life, family, clan and community, the views of African theologians and bishops, focusing mainly on the “the Church as Family.”

The second section examines the theological anthropology of John Paul II focusing mainly on his Theology of the Body and Mulieris Dignitatem. The third section presents the theology of inculturation, examines the African theological anthropological values and compares the Pope’s teachings in understanding the woman as mother and wife within the African family and draws a conclusion and a synthesis.

According to John Paul II, the dignity and vocation of woman is “something more universal, based on the very fact of her being a woman within all the interpersonal relationships, which, in the most varied ways, shape society and structure the interaction between all persons,” (Mulieris Dignitatem no. 29).

This “concerns each and every woman, independent of the cultural context in which she lives and independently of her spiritual, psychological and physical characteristics, as for example, age, education, health, work, and whether she is married or single,” (Mulieris Dignitatem, no. 29).

The theology of inculturation as presented in this dissertation opens the way for the integration of the theological anthropological teachings of John Paul II in understanding African woman as mother and wife.

The book can be bought online at $51.80

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EQUAL DIGNITY OF WIVES AND HUSBANDS IN AFRICA
From: joachim omolo ouko
News Dispatch with Father Omolo Beste
TUESDAY, JULY 8, 2014

Clare from Nairobi writes: “Fr Beste it looks this book by Fr Joseph Okech Adhunga is a nice piece to read. Is there anyway it will reach bookshops in Kenya very soon because many of us in the villages do not understand buying a book online.

Secondly, can you compare this book with the new document signed November 19, 2011 by Pope Benedict XVI during a visit to Benin on the equal dignity of women with men? I also read the piece written by Dr Margaret Ogolla and found it nice too.”

Thank you for the question Clare. I am not sure whether Fr Okech’s book will reach Kenya bookshops any soon. Here is his email you can write to him directly to answer the question- joseph_okech@yahoo.com I have also not read the book other than abstract so I can’t say whether it captures Pope Benedict’s document.

Pope Benedict’s equal dignity of women with men new document was signed November 19, 2011 during his visit to West African nation of Benin and I managed to run the story on my news blog shortly he signed it.

The Pope emphasized the fact that recognition of the God-given dignity of both women and men in Africa ought to influence the lives of married couples and their families in important ways, urging husbands in today’s Africa to express love and respect for their wives.

The Pope wants men to realize that their witness to the “dignity of every human person will serve as an effective antidote to traditional practices that are contrary to the Gospel and oppressive to women in particular.”

Husbands he says in the document should not be afraid “to demonstrate tangibly that there is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for those one loves, that is to say, first and foremost, for one’s wife and children.

The new document acknowledges the progress made in some African nations “toward the advancement of women and their education.” But “it remains the case,” Pope Benedict writes, “that overall, women’s dignity and rights, as well as their essential contribution to the family and to society, have not been fully acknowledged or appreciated.”

This papal document, known as an apostolic exhortation, is titled “The Commitment of Africa.” It presents the pope’s reflections on the recommendations made to him by the Second Special Assembly for Africa of the Synod of Bishops held in Rome during October 2009.

Due to the wide range of concerns addressed in the synod recommendations, the apostolic exhortation’s scope is necessarily broad. It devotes attention to matters as diverse as governmental neglect and violence, education, poverty and social justice, the necessity of interreligious dialogue, the plight of migrants, abuses of the environment and the church’s sacramental life.

The 2009 synod condemned “all acts of violence against women,” such as “the battering of wives, the disinheritance of daughters, the oppression of widows in the name of tradition, forced marriages, female genital mutilation, trafficking in women” and “other abuses such as sex slavery and sex tourism.”

Women’s contributions, “not only in the home as wife and mother, but also in the social sphere, should be more generally acknowledged and promoted and also giving women opportunities to make their voice heard and to express their talents through initiatives that reinforce their worth, their self-esteem and their uniqueness would enable them to occupy a place in society equal to that of men — without confusing or conflating the specific character of each — since both men and women are the ‘image’ of the Creator.”

I also managed to read Dr Margaret Ogola’s piece on dignity of the African woman as well. This actually is not a book but her keynote address to women empowerment symposium in Beijing for the Fourth World Women’s Conference.

Her emphasis was based on the fact that the woman is the heart of the family, and the family is the corner stone of society. Conflict between men and women is therefore unnecessary because a woman brings an equal and powerful complementarity to the common human condition.

Equality she said must not be seen to deny anyone of their rightful due. Indeed equality would be self defeating if it were based on injustice. Injustice cannot be corrected by another injustice. This is particularly on widows.

In Africa, parenting challenges are still facing widows. Widows bringing up a baby have to play the role of both mother and father. In such a situation, the personalities of the individuals and also the circumstances in which the child is being brought up affect the upbringing and also the smooth functioning of the house.

Most of the time, a widowed mother not only has to deal with the challenge of raising a child all on her own, but also has to cope with the loss of a spouse. There is always someone to turn to in a two-parent family but for widowed mothers, this option does not exist.

Dealing with the loneliness is one the most challenging problems faced by widowed mothers. There is always the prospect of the mother finding someone new to share her life with but this happens only rarely. The inheritances are there only to exploit the women, mainly for cheap sex. They don’t even take care of the children they produce with these poor women.

Fr Joachim Omolo Ouko, AJ
Tel +254 7350 14559/+254 722 623 578
E-mail obolobeste@gmail.com

Omolo_ouko@outlook.com
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Twitter-@8000accomole

Why Is Divorce Such A Greater Stigma For Women Than Men?

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From: Juma Mzuri

An unhappy marriage can take a toll on your mind, body and soul.

From casual observation, regarding marriages of family members, friends and co-workers, I’ve noticed the majority are unhappy. The happy couples were in the minority.

The wives’ and husbands’ unhappiness shows in their faces. Both tend to look older than they are, beaten down, stressed out, bitter, angry and depressed. A few have even turned to alcohol, pills and extramarital affairs. They also have various health problems like ulcers, obesity, hypertension and migraines. Some are unusually harsh with their children. Others are emotionally and physically abusive toward each other. Overall, both husbands and wives have somehow lost their zest for life. They are mere shadows of their former selves – unlike the happy couples they were on their wedding day.

In some cases, the marriages became so unbearable – the wives packed up themselves and their kids, left, filed for divorce and went on to forge new lives.

Yet, some women criticized the wives for leaving, accused them of being selfish, for breaking up their marriages and reminded them that “God hates divorce.”

In other cases, the marriages became so unbearable – the husbands packed up themselves, and sometimes, the kids, filed for divorce and went on to forge new lives.

However, some men praised the husbands for leaving, didn’t accuse them of being selfish, for breaking up their marriages and didn’t remind the husbands that “God hates divorce.” Some family members and friends even congratulated the husbands for leaving such greedy, selfish, ungrateful b*****s, even when the wives didn’t deserve such a label.

Why the double standard?

CHEATING SPOUSES ON RED CARD ALERT

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From: joachim omolo ouko
News Dispatch with Father Omolo Beste
SATURDAY, JUNE 7, 2014

Yuvinalis from Kisii writes: “Fr.Beste I read your article on Rose about her husband cheating on her and I just pity her. I worked in three major media houses in Kenya and during those days we did not have much to report on women divorcing or separating with their husbands because they cheat on them.

Strictly speaking, if you divorce your husband or wife because of extra marital affairs, in my opinion it is not right. It is the duty of husband and the wife to protect each other. They need to have dialogue.

I have seen many cases of wives or husbands cheating on each other, but what I can advice Rose and other women is that cheating on them should not be the reason for divorce or separation. There is no need of fighting each other, but better dialogue.

In most cases divorce is thought of as a solution because of lack of good communication which may lead to lack of understanding hence divorce. Rose has not divorced but I assure her that long period of separation may lead her to divorce.

If it persists seek the council of the parents or the small Christian community members. It is only when the other party completely refuses council from the elders that you could consider a divorce. I would also advice Rose and other women that it is not right to check their husbands’ phone or emails. Husbands should also not do the same to their wives.

I leave my phone in the sitting room when I go to the bedroom or the shower. I have big kids and I don’t mind them picking my phone. I don’t have any lockable item in my house. Hence all of us can access any items in the house. This is just to do with trust.

I should also advice men who cheat on their wives to stop doing so because this is just destroying your family and you”.

Thank you for your concern Yuvinalis. I hope Rose will follow your advice and have a change of heart. Your advice to men who cheat on their wives is fantastic. Remember this is not only Rose. The rate of divorce in Kenya on such illicit affairs is on the increase.

Filing a divorce case in court is even more expensive. Legal sources indicate that the cost of filing a divorce case could range from a minimum of Sh200, 000 to Sh500, 000, and the case could drag on in court for years.

A party seeking divorce is known as a petitioner while the one against whom the petition is filed is known as the respondent .The petitioner must illustrate or prove to the court why he or she wants the court to grant the divorce.

The party must prove that their case fits within one of the few grounds for divorce as stipulated in the law. For example, the petitioner has to demonstrate to the satisfaction of the court that a matrimonial offence has occurred, and hence the marriage should no longer continue.

Section 8 of the Matrimonial Causes Act provides divorce proceedings may be commenced either by the husband or the wife on the ground that the respondent:

(a) has since the celebration of the marriage committed adultery; or

(b) has deserted the petitioner without cause for a period of at least three years immediately preceding the presentation of the petition; or

(c) has since the celebration of the marriage treated the petitioner with cruelty; or

(d) is incurably of unsound mind and has been continuously under care and treatment for a period of at least five years immediately preceding the presentation of the petition, and by the wife on the ground that her husband has been guilty of rape, sodomy or bestiality.

The court can also dissolve a marriage if parties show that the marriage has irretrievably broken down, and that there is no love between the parties anymore. These are the only grounds upon which parties can seek to have a marriage dissolved.

Kenyan law prohibits the presentation of a divorce petition to a court of law before three years after the marriage, unless good reasons are shown to the court as to why the petition should be entertained. Parties have to remain within the marriage for a minimum of three years before they lodge a divorce petition.

Like in the case of Rose she is still in a marriage, until the court will grants her a divorce. This is because separation does not break marriage. It is only divorce that breaks the matrimonial bond completely. In other words, she can be free to be remarried.

In Catholic Church this is quite different. Marriage in Catholic is a vocation which fosters the good of the spouses and naturally leads to the procreation and education of children. Above all marriage is a sacrament (Eph. 5).

The couple must understand what marriage is and they must intend their marriage to be a lifelong partnership which is open to children. They must intend fidelity and the mutual good of one another. They must also have the physical and psychological ability to follow through on these intentions.

When all of the above factors are brought together, a sacramental, indissoluble union is established by God. The Church believes that God, the author of marriage, established it as a permanent union. When two people marry, they form an unbreakable bond.

Divorce can only be considered on an annulment. It is a finding by a Church tribunal that on the day vows were exchanged at least one essential element for a valid marriage was lacking. For example, one of the parties did not intend to be faithful to the other party or approached marriage as merely a temporary bond.

A decree of nullity may also be considered on the grounds that one of the parties is incapable of entering into a valid marriage due to fear or coercion, a lack of judgment caused by mental illness or gross immaturity, a psychological disorder or the fact that one of the parties is still validly married to another party.

Fr Joachim Omolo Ouko, AJ
Tel +254 7350 14559/+254 722 623 578
E-mail obolobeste@gmail.com

Omolo_ouko@outlook.com
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DEFENSE MECHANISM IN MARRIAGE

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From: joachim omolo ouko
News Dispatch with Father Omolo Beste
FRIDAY, JUNE 6, 2014

Rose (not her real name) writes: Fr Omolo I read your article on superiority complex and defense mechanism. I also like reading your articles on your website link jaluo.kom on issues of infidelity in marriage like this on here-EXTRAMARITAL SEX AND INFIDELITY IN MARRIAGE Father you talked of superiority complex and defense mechanism among politicians but you forgot that even in marriage defense mechanism is even stronger.

I want share with you my personal experience. I and my husband are Catholics. My husband is even one of the respected Parish Council members in our church. One day he went to shower room and forgot his mobile phone. When I scrolled for messages I was shocked to find a message from his mpango wa kando woman (mistress) telling him to send money for his daughter urgently for school fees.

When I called the number of this woman she never hid me. She told me that my husband is her man and they have a daughter 11 years old whom he must take care for. We exchanged bitter words with her but realized this could not help. When I asked my husband about it he was very furious with me and began using defense mechanism tactics.

It is now about 4 months since I discovered this but still moves with this woman. As a Christian Father I had to separate with him for peace of mind also. He does not even feel it and actually does not care. I am really depressed and confused. We have big children and in a shock as well. Just pray for me and my family Father.”

The experience Rose is undergoing is the experience of many women in Kenya today. Social media, especially Facebook talk about it. I read one 2 days ago where a young lady put it categorically that Kenyans are secretly or openly tribalistic, serial cheaters, vanity chasers yet they will be the first to fill up the church pews on Sundays and weep like they are actually being convicted.

This is Kenya where not only married people are cheating on their spouses but even single people are cheating. It is a society where a single woman can have several men, one who pays rent, the other monthly shopping, and the other one pay school fees for children.

Mind you none of them knows that there are other men with this woman. The same with men, married or single, they have several other women elsewhere. The sad part is that people are deliberately not worried about the HIV infections.

In the Kenyan Society and many societies around the world, marriages in today do not seem to mean nearly as much as they used to in the past, with divorce commonly being the first preferential choice in modifying a married couple’s problems or troubles.

Unlike men, women are more likely to cheat in relationships where they feel that their emotional needs aren’t being met and may also cheat because their sexual needs aren’t being satisfied, or as revenge.

One of the most extreme effects of the disclosure or discovery of female infidelity within a relationship is divorce or ending the relationship. Just like what Rose is expressing on her sentiments.

It is not Rose alone. Women have become so paranoid they spend their lives electronically checking up on their husband text messages. They hack into their emails, or forward through their mobile phones.

Rose had never suspected her husband of anything. It was just for curiosity that she decided to scroll her husband’s phone and got that message. That is what made her mad at her husband, and when she tried to ask him he became defensive.

In Freudian psychoanalysis theory, defense mechanisms are psychological strategies, or habitual behavior that distorts reality to suppress thoughts and emotions that might bring up ego threat. These are tactics used to scare, manipulate, deny, or distort reality.

Like Rose, many women have turned into detectives. Out of the blue, a woman can also decide to open her husband’s emails. They have never done this before like Rose. Just for curiosity she probably suspected he was having an affair with other women.

Recently a young lady posted on her Facebook timeline, how her boy friend was mysteriously ‘late home from work’, she opened his account and there were endless messages from his other girlfriends. “It was devastating,’ she expressed”.

Some women even have issues with their men over password change on a phone, Facebook or email. Some are even suspicious whey their men don’t leave their phones behind. They go with them even to shower rooms.

Women are curious because they are far more suspicious about their men than men are about their women. There is nothing painful to the woman like husband or boyfriend having an affair with other women. That is why almost half of discussions by young ladies on Facebook is their men being unfaithful.

Fr Joachim Omolo Ouko, AJ
Tel +254 7350 14559/+254 722 623 578
E-mail obolobeste@gmail.com
Omolo_ouko@outlook.com
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Twitter-@8000accomole

SHOCK AS MARRIED ANGLICANS BECOME CATHOLIC PRIESTS

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From: joachim omolo ouko
News Dispatch with Father Omolo Beste
TUESDAY, MAY 6, 2014

Rachel from Nyali, Mombasa writes: “Fr Beste you really shocked me. Since when did Catholic Church receive married Anglicans or other Protestants clergy to return to the full communion of the Catholic Church as priests? If this is the case then the Pope should just waive celibacy as a condition to become a priest or religious.

In fact I have a boy in form two who wants to become a priest after he completes school. I am afraid if I tell him about married Protestant clergy who return to catholic priests I am sure he will also be shocked. Otherwise I liked the way you answered Jerry. With his high sexual urges which he cannot be able to control better not to become a priest. My advice to him is that he should just forget about it and let him focus on other things.”

Thank you for this important question Rachel. Since according to long-standing Church discipline, Roman Catholic priests and religious are chosen from those who pledge to remain celibate, it is not a grantee that since married Anglicans become Catholic priests the Pope Francis should waive celibacy as a condition to priesthood.

I am of the opinion that you should just tell your son about it. This will help him make a mature decision. The Code of Canon Law reads: “Clerics are obliged to observe perfect and perpetual continence for the sake of the kingdom of heaven and therefore are bound to celibacy which is a special gift of God by which sacred ministers can adhere more easily to Christ with an undivided heart and are able to dedicate themselves more freely to the service of God and humanity” (Canon 277).

According to this Canon, permanent deacons can be either celibate or married. The decision must be made prior to ordination. In Kenya and many parts of Africa we don’t have permanent deacons as yet.

What you should also know Rachel is that priestly celibacy isn’t a tradition in the major sense of a dogmatic teaching, but rather an ancient and honored discipline which can be changed. You should also be aware that just because the issue may become a topic of discussion within the Vatican does not mean change will happen anytime soon.

For any change in the Catholic Church it must be gradual and very carefully considered. If a change happens, it will be the result of careful deliberation, pastoral and prayerful contemplation. This may not occur during the tenure of Pope Francis as reformed catholic priests would wish. To their surprise it is unlikely to happen so soon.

Another point you should also know is that Pope Francis has not himself said there is possibility of waiving celibacy. This is just the mainstream media, which is all atwitter made by Pope Francis’s incoming secretary of state, Archbishop Pietro Parolin, who is set to replace Cardinal Tarciscio Berone as the head of the Vatican’s Secretariat of State about the possibility of eliminating clerical celibacy.

He said this in Caracas, Venezuela, where he has been serving as papal nuncio (ambassador) to Venezuela. Apparently, it was an interview in anticipation of his leaving his role as the apostolic nuncio and going back to Rome to become Secretary of State.

In his discussion with the interviewer, following exchange occurred- Archbishop Pietro Parolin was quoted to have said: “Aren’t there two types of dogmas? Aren’t there unmovable dogmas that were instituted by Jesus and then there are those that came afterwards, during the course of the church’s history, created by men and therefore susceptible to change”?

In other words, it is not a church dogma and it can be discussed because it is a church tradition. According to Archbishop Pietro Parolin therefore, the work the church did to institute ecclesiastical celibacy must be considered.

This is a great challenge for the pope, because before he decides he must weigh the attitude of Catholic faithful, majority I believe would love to see priests and religious remain celibate. This is because pope is the one with the ministry of unity and all of those decisions must be made thinking of the unity of the church and not to divide it.

It is just the way you have been shocked that married Anglican clergy can cross to Catholic and become a priest in the Catholic Church with his family. This asserts what the archbishop stated that clerical celibacy is not a dogma but a matter of discipline- otherwise married Anglicans clergy would have not allowed crossing over to the Catholic.

Even though in the book Pope Francis: Conversations with Jorge Bergoglio (an interview book done before he was pope), Cardinal Bergoglio said: Let’s see . . . I’ll begin with the last question: whether or not the Church is ever going to change its position with regard to celibacy, we cannot rush to the conclusion that this is what he meant exactly.

Conversation continues: “First, let me say I don’t like to play mind-reader. But assuming that the Church did change its position, I don’t believe it would be because of a lack of priests. Nor do I think celibacy would be a requirement for all who wanted to embrace priesthood.

If it did, hypothetically, do so, it would be for cultural reasons, as is the case in the East, where married men can be ordained. There, at a particular time and in that particular culture, it was so, and it continues to be so today.

I can’t stress enough that if the Church were to change its position at some point, it would be to confront a cultural problem in a particular place; it would not be a global issue or an issue of personal choice. That is my belief. . . .Right now I stand by Benedict XVI, who said that celibacy should be maintained.

Now, what kind of effect will this have on the number of those called to the priesthood? I am not convinced that eliminating celibacy would cause such an increase in those called to the priesthood as to make up for the shortage”.

The Eastern Catholic Church, like the Orthodox Church, has allowed either married or celibate men to be considered for ordination to either the diaconate in Christ or priesthood. Celibacy or marriage as a state in life is determined before the first ordination to the Diaconate. Bishops are chosen from the ranks of the celibate clergy.

Fr Joachim Omolo Ouko, AJ
Tel +254 7350 14559/+254 722 623 578
E-mail obolobeste@gmail.com

Omolo_ouko@outlook.com
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CONDITIONS OF MARRIAGE IN CATHOLIC CHURCH

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From: joachim omolo ouko
News Dispatch with Father Omolo Beste
SATURDAY, MAY 3, 2014

Yuvinalis from Kisii writes: “Hallo, the issue of divorced people receiving Holy Communion is something I have heard for the first time. While I know it is common to have divorced people in the Catholic Church, it has never come to my mind that one day they would be allowed to receive Communion.

So why does Pope Francis want to change the official teaching of the church which has been there for years that divorced people are remarried are not allowed to receive the Communion? Can you officially marry in the Catholic Church and also divorce officially and remarry?”

Maurice from Kisumu writes: “Fr. Beste now that the government has legalized the polygamy do you think Catholic Church can consider polygamous to receive Holy Communion?”

Virginia from Mombasa writes: “Fr Beste I read your article on marriage bill 2014 President Uhuru assented into law. You Father Beste you so genius you know almost everything under this earth. My question is a little bit outside your article. I just wanted to know why marriage banns are read in Catholic Church and not in Protestant Churches. I would also like if you can enlighten me on mix marriage, what are the requirements? Thank you”.

Yuvinalis has raised very important concern. The issue here is that official teaching of the Catholic Church has not changed. These are just proposals to be discussed in a special synod taking place in October. Let us wait until after then.

Concerning your second concern, yes there are some cases where marriage can be null and void. In such a case you can be allowed to remarry and receive Holy Communion. The Church follows Christ’s teaching that marriage is a covenant that cannot be dissolved, so it does not recognize divorce as “dissolving” the previous marriage.

At the same time the Church has a legal process for determining whether the previous marriage was valid—that is, that the couple freely gave themselves to one another in a way that brought about a valid marriage between them. If the Church determines that the previous marriage was not valid, it is said to be annulled. An annulment removes the impediment to marriage.

In order to enter a valid marriage, each person must freely choose to give his or her entire self to the other- and to accept the gift of the other, irrevocably (forever). Church law presumes that the words and actions of the couple during the wedding accurately reflect their intention to do this.

It explains why, in order to ensure that couples fully understand what it means to give oneself in marriage, the Church requires a period of preparation before marriage. Usually, the marriage cannot take place until this happens.

Question by Maurice is equally important. Maurice this law does not affect Christian marriage. It is only under customary, Islam and other laws. For that reason it does not allow polygamous to receive Holy Communion.

First of all thank you very much for this good compliments Virginia. In the Catholic Church the banns of marriage is very important. The purpose of banns is to enable anyone to raise any canonical or civil legal impediment to the marriage, so as to prevent marriages that are invalid. Impediments vary between legal jurisdictions, but would normally include a pre-existing marriage that has been neither dissolved nor annulled, a vow of celibacy, lack of consent, or the couple’s being related within the prohibited degree of kinship.

Your second question concerning mixed marriage is a concern often asked question. The Code of Canon Law states: “A marriage between two persons, one of whom has been baptized in the Catholic Church or received into it, and the other of whom is not baptized, is invalid (CIC 1086) also (CIC 1124).

That is to say the Church does allow bishops to grant permission for such marriages provided the following conditions are met: The Catholic party is to declare that he or she is prepared to remove dangers of defecting from the faith and is to make a sincere promise to do all in his or her power so that all offspring are baptized and brought up in the Catholic Church.

The other party is to be informed at an appropriate time about the promises that the Catholic party is to make, in such a way that it is certain that he or she is truly aware of the promise and obligation of the Catholic party.

Both parties are to be instructed about the purposes and essential properties of marriage, which neither of the contracting parties is to exclude (CIC 1125).

What Virginia and the rest of Catholics should know is that marriage in the Catholic Church, also called matrimony, is the “covenant by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life and which is ordered by its nature to the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring”, and which “has been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a sacrament between the baptised. So a thorough observation must be made prior to the sacrament.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church further describes marriage as: “The intimate community of life and love which constitutes the married state has been established by the Creator and endowed by him with its own proper laws.

God himself is the author of marriage. The vocation to marriage is written in the very nature of man and woman as they came from the hand of the Creator. Marriage is not a purely human institution despite the many variations it may have undergone through the centuries in different cultures, social structures, and spiritual attitudes.

The Sacrament has been described by St. Pope John Paul II as “an act of will that signifies and involves a mutual gift, which unites the spouses and binds them to their eventual souls, with whom they make up a sole family – a domestic church.”

Fr Joachim Omolo Ouko, AJ
Tel +254 7350 14559/+254 722 623 578
E-mail obolobeste@gmail.com

Omolo_ouko@outlook.com
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KENYA: TWO SDA PASTORS WET ON THEIR TROUSERS AFTER BEING FISHED OUT OF LODGING WITH TWO MARRIED WOMEN

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Reports Our investigative reporter.

REPORTS reaching us say there is a total moral decay at Kendu-Bay SDA mission. This follows the rumors and speculations that two senior pastors who hold coveted and plum jobs at the oldest SDA mission in Southern Nyanza were recently fished out of a lodging with their pants down while making love to two married women. The incident, according to an impechable source occurred at Nyakoe Market, 26 miles away in Kisii district. The two senior pastors are said to have driven their vehicles all along from Gendia SDA mission, which is located near Kendu-Bay town in Karachuonyo constituency to Nyakoe Market in kitutu Chache constituency, central KISII district in Kisii county.

Apparently unaware that their enemies had set a trap and hired several boda boda motorbike riders for their hot pursuit, the senior clergymen are said to have booked themselves rooms in several lodging outlets at Nyajkoe which is about 10 kilometers to the northwest of Kisii town on the main Kisii-Oyugis road.

Same reports say that local residents of Gendia Mission and its environs have been writing letters to the Lake Conference headquarters of the SDA complaining about the immorality perpetuated by senior pastors, directors and others. But no action has been taken.

On this particular occasion, the two errand pastors were caught red-handed while in action at their usual sexual hideouts, the hired boda boda motorbike riders are reported to have patiently waited for the pastors to finish their sexual mission and escapades with the married women before they struck. In a big panick while heavily sweating the two pastors are reported to have coughed out a colossal amount of money totaling Khs 60,000 to bribe the boda boda men in order to regain their freedom.

Other reports note the decaying immorality at this, one of the oldest SDA mission in the region, which is reported to have been established by the white American missionaries way back to 1902. Of late there are reports of protracted confrontation and witch-huntw pitting pastors working at the Mission, but who hail from the neighboring locations outside Karachuonyo constituency with local priests. This witch-hunt has intensified and recently saw one pastor from the locality being summarily sacked following allegation that he had swindled and misappropriated the mission of millions of shillings.

The names of the two senior pastors caught red-handed while making love to two married women from within the villages around Gendia mission are withheld and could not be quoted for legal reasons. However, the news about the Nyakoe incident has spread within the locality like bush-fire and has become the common knowledge after reaching the public domain. One of the pastors allegedly involved in the sexual escapade when reached by phone, dismissed the reports as part of the blackmailing effort being spreading against him ad his colleague by the fired pastor who has ganged up with his kins within the locality, and now hell-bent to tarnish their names He said he suspected the disgruntled pastor as the one who had hired the boda boda to motorbike riders to follow them in the hope that once the two are dismissed from the plum mission jobs, and the new directors appointed he might stand a slim chance of being reinstated back on his job. The whole affairs at Gendia Mission is now portraying a picture of total confusion and moral decay.

The locals have also put their weight behind those accusing pastors working at the Mission as promoting immorality instead of giving the church members spiritual nourishment. Instead they are said to be involved in sexual escapade with no respect to married women.

Reached the two boda boda motorbike taxis riders confirmed how they followed the two pastors and their secret lovers for close to26 miles and caught up with them at Nytakoe Market which is located a few miles from Kisii town and while watching from a safe distance saw the pastors booking the hotel rooms. They idled themselves around the market and gave the two something like 40 minutes before they struck and surprised the two as they were just about to leave their hideout. They, however, denied that they were hired by someone to follow the pastors saying they did so on their own volition following numerous complaints about the misconduct of the two priests which has become common in the public knowledge. Within the villages around Gebduia Mission.

Ends

Examining What is Ailing Modern Marriages

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From: amenya gibson

Hi All,
As we ponder on what is happening to residents of Eastleigh especially
Somali community.

I will want to tell you something on marriage and its dynamics.

Currently we are witnessing alot of marriage disputes and divorces
cases being filed in our courts.

After 3 months research I have noticed that most of modern marriages
especially in our generation are likely to hit a cliff just after a
few years because of
1-Most young people rush into marriage without having properly
prepared themselves emotionally.
2-Also they are driven by material well being instead of true partnership.
3-A decline in parents and elders guidance and their role in helping
young people to make informed decisions in marriage.
4-Finance and Income seems to play a big role unlike in old days,you
will notice some of
modern marriage collapse when either partner loss his or her job or a
source of income.

5-Marriage imitations is on rise,some partners tend to imagine that
they can also live like so and so. especially celebrities

6-Lack of proper guidelines on each duty and responsibilities,it seems
some men seems
to have taken a back seat in helping or assisting in their marriage.
7-Some hide their true characters during dating or courtships,which
later complicates matters in marriages.Always be yourself.

A posiible solutions
1-Is important one takes time before you marry or are married,seek
advice from elders especially when you are below 25 years.
2-Respect and hard-work helps unite a family
Have a realistic budget plan to help you make informed decisions and
even help cushion you
when income goes south.
3-Avoid confrontations on matters that can be solved amicably.
4-Also try to seeking hand of God in all you do.

Thanks
Gibson Amenya
Raam Kenya Medical Agency

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Marriage

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From: Francis cheruiyot

I honestly have no idea why we are making a big deal about marriage bill. Will legislating marriages make it work? If we have not been able to follow clear biblical teachings, what makes us think that legislation would cut it for us.

Polygamy exists in three main types namely:

a) Polygyny – where a husband takes himself several women/wives.

b) Polyandry – where a woman takes herself several husbands

c) Co joint marriage – where there are several husbands and wives.

In Matt. 19:4 we are told by Jesus that God created one “male and [one] female” and joined them in marriage. Mark 10:6-8:”But from the beginning of the creation, God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, ‘and the two shall become one flesh’; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh.

It wasn’t until sin made man fall (Gen. 4:23) that polygamy occurs. Cain was cursed; Lamech is a descendent of Cain and the first to practice polygamy. The first time polygamous relationship is found in the Bible is with a thriving rebellious society in sin; when a murderer named “Lamech [a descendant of Cain] took for himself two wives” (Gen.4:19, 23).

In the Bible we can count 15 examples of polygamy from the time of Lamech to 931 A.D. 13 of these men had enough power that no one could call into question their practice, they were unaccountable or no one dared approach them. Lamech Genesis 4:19; Abraham Genesis 16; Esau Genesis 26:34; 28:9; Jacob Genesis 29:30; Ashur 1 Chronicles 4:5; Gideon Judges 8:30; Elkanah 1 Samuel 1:2; David 1 Samuel 25:39-44; 2 Samuel 3:2-5; 5:13; 1 Chronicles 14:3; Solomon 1 Kings 11:1-8; Rehoboam 2 Chronicles 11:18-23; Abijah 2 Chronicles 13:21; Jehoram 2 Chronicles 21:14; Joash 2 Chronicles 24:3; Ahab 2 Kings 10; Jehoiachin 2 Kings 24:15; Belshazzar Daniel 5:2; 1 Chronicles 2:8; Hosea in Hosea 3:1,2.

Polygamy is mentioned in the Mosaic law and made inclusive on the basis of legislation, and continued to be practiced all down through the period of Jewish history to the Captivity, after which there is no instance of it on record (Gen.29:15-30, Jacob and his wives.)

Was Abraham, David Solomon condemned or approved for practicing polygamy?

God never condoned polygamy but like divorce he allowed it to occur and did not bring an immediate punishment for this disobedience. Deut. 17:14-17: “……Neither shall he multiply wives for himself” This is the expressed command of God, and he has never changed it.

The fact is that God never commanded polygamy or divorce. Scripture says (Bible) He only permitted it because of the hardness of their hearts (Deut. 24:1; Matt. 19:8). Matt. 5:31-32: “Furthermore it has been said, “Whoever divorces his wife let him give her a certificate of divorce. But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.” God hates divorce as well as polygamy, since it destroys the family (Mal. 2:16). Whatever the patriarchs or any Christian did wrong does not change the fact the Bible condemns it.

Multiple wives were tolerated but never with God’s approval. Jesus told the Jews, “Because of your hardness of heart, Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way” (Matthew 19:3-8). The Mosaic law aimed at mitigating, rather than removing, evils that were inseparable from the state of society in that day. Its enactments were directed to the discouragement of polygamy; to prevent the injustice frequently consequent upon the exercise of the rights of a father or a master; to bring divorce under some restriction; and to enforce purity of life during the maintenance of the matrimonial bond.

Monogamy has always been God’s standard for the human race. From the very beginning God set the pattern by creating a monogamous marriage relationship -one man and one woman, Adam and Eve (Gen. 1:27; 2:21-25).

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POLYGAMY RECONSIDERED

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From: joachim omolo ouko
News Dispatch with Father Omolo Beste
MONDAY, MARCH 24, 2014

Lucy (not her real name) writes: “Dear Father, I am married with 4 children. We are not divorced yet with my husband but separated. I filed divorce case last year when I found out that my husband was having mpango wa kando (secret women outside) and dumped me with children.

I realized this when he could not cater for our family basic needs like food, and being reluctant in paying school fees for children. I managed to find the number of one of his secret women and when I called her to find out why she is moving with my husband she abused me terribly. It is a shame Father.

I agree with your homily that with this marriage bill that a man will not consult with his wife when he wants to marry second wife will bring conflicts in many families, and believe me many families are going to break up.

Now Father what are catholic bishops saying about this, they seem to be silence on this issue. I think they should come in one voice to oppose the bill. Otherwise thank you very much your homilies are indeed enriching and down to earth. God bless your work”.

Thank you for raising this issue Lucy. I do agree with you that when bishops speak about it they can be heard and may be to change the mind of the president in signing it into law. May be they are preparing to make a statement, we are to wait see their reaction.

The amendment was moved by Justice and Legal Affairs Committee chairman Samuel Chepkong’a, saying under customary law, women or wives you have married do not need to be told when you’re coming home with a second or third wife.

The Marriage Bill seeks to combine seven laws on marriage, divorce and come-we-stay unions. It also recognises polygamy and the payment of dowry for customary marriages. It was introduced in July 2013 and is now in the final stage — the Third Reading — in the National Assembly. The Bill states that those marrying must be 18 years or older.

Even in Islam where polygamy is allowed, with the specific limitation that a man can have four wives at any one time, experience has shown that the contemporary Muslim woman is not happy to have a co-wife.

Even though the Qur’an clearly states that men who choose this route must deal with their wives justly, with high cost of life today it is almost impossible for a Muslim man to cater for his many wives and children.

A husband does not have to have permission from his first wife to marry another wife, even though many Muslim women today would like their husbands to consult them before marrying another wife.

Although traditionally it is believed that men were marrying many wives in order to have many children, according to evolution pioneer Charles Darwin men have historically practiced polygamy as a way to both please their sexual desires and maintain household dominance.

In his 1871 book The Descent of Man, Darwin stated that “Judging from the social habits of man as he now exists, and from most savages being polygamists, the most probable view is that primeval man aboriginally lived in small communities, each with as many wives as he could support and obtain, whom he would have jealously guarded against all other men”.

Most Christian theologians however, argue that Christians should not marry many wives. Theologians base their argument on Matthew 19:3-9 and Genesis 2:24 that Jesus explicitly states a man should have only one wife.

Basil of Caesarea also wrote in the 4th century of plural marriage that “such a state is no longer called marriage but polygamy or, indeed, a moderate fornication. He ordered that those who are engaged in it should be excommunicated for up to five years, and “only after they have shown some fruitful repentance were they to be allowed back into the church.

This was the same time in the 4th century that St Augustine wrote that the good purpose of marriage is better promoted by one husband with one wife, than by a husband with several wives. Justin Martyr, Irinaeus and Tertullian also spoke against polygamy, condemning it.

Remember that not all Christian churches have the same view in polygamy. The Nigerian Celestial Church of Christ allows clergy and laymen to keep multiple wives, and the Lutheran Church of Liberia began allowing plural marriage in the 1970s.

Several other denominations permit those already in polygamous marriages to convert and join their church without having to renounce their multiple marriages. These include the African instituted Harrist Church, started in 1913.

Even the Anglican Church made a decision at the 1988 Lambeth Conference to admit those who were polygamists at the time they converted to Christianity, subject to certain restrictions. Polygamy was first discussed during the Lambeth Conference of 1888:

“That it is the opinion of this Conference that persons living in polygamy be not admitted to baptism, but they may be accepted as candidates and kept under Christian instruction until such time as they shall be in a position to accept the law of Christ.

That the wives of polygamists may, in the opinion of this Conference, be admitted in some cases to baptism, but that it must be left to the local authorities of the Church to decide under what circumstances they may be baptized, according to resolution 5.

Fr Joachim Omolo Ouko, AJ
Tel +254 7350 14559/+254 722 623 578
E-mail obolobeste@gmail.com

Omolo_ouko@outlook.com
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From: joachim omolo ouko
News Dispatch with Father Omolo Beste

HOW CAN A PRIEST BE THE PATRON OF LOVERS?

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From: joachim omolo ouko
News Dispatch with Father Omolo Beste
FRIDAY, 14, 2014

Belinda writes via Facebook: “Omolo Beste I read on your Facebook timeline your valentine best wishes. I also read online that valentine was a catholic priest, who was martyred for his faith in Jesus Christ and for that reason he became a saint. I also read that he is the patron of lovers, how comes yet he was a priest?

My second concern is that for a catholic to be made a saint there must be some miracles he performed, which miracle did Valentine perform? Again can you help me know some saints and what they are patron for?”

Thank you for this important question Belinda. The most famous miracle attributed to Saint Valentine involved a note that he sent to a young blind girl named Julia who Valentine had befriended. Shortly before he was martyred f he wrote Julia a farewell note.

It is believed that God miraculously cured Julia of her blindness so that she could personally read Valentine’s note, rather than just have someone else read it to her. Valentine signed Julia’s note “From your Valentine,” and that loving note, combined with the memory of Valentine’s support of engaged and married couples in his work as a priest, led to the tradition of sending loving messages on his feast day, Valentine’s Day.

In some western countries Valentine day is taken seriously with couples praying for him to intercede for them before God so that their commitment and relationship may prosper. Numerous couples have reported experiencing miraculous improvements in their relationships with boyfriends, girlfriends, and spouses after praying for help from Saint Valentine.

Yes, you read it correctly. Saint Valentine was a Catholic priest who had also worked as a doctor. He lived in Italy during the third century AD and served as a priest in Rome. There is nothing wrong for a catholic priest to be the patron of lovers because there is nothing wrong with love.

It was Emperor Claudius who discovered that Valentine was performing weddings and sent Valentine to jail. Valentine used his time in jail to continue to reach out to people with the love that he said Jesus Christ gave him for others.

He befriended his jailer, a man named Asterious, and Asterious became so impressed with Valentine’s wisdom that he asked Valentine to help his daughter Julia with her lessons because Julia was blind and needed someone to read material for her to learn it. Valentine then became friends with Julia through his work with her when she came to visit him in jail.

Emperor Claudius came to like Valentine, too, so he offered to pardon Valentine and set him free if Valentine would renounce his Christian faith and agree to worship the Roman gods. Not only did Valentine refuse to leave his faith, he also encouraged Emperor Claudius to place his trust in Christ. Valentine’s faithful choices cost him his life. Emperor Claudius was so enraged at Valentine’s response that he sentenced Valentine to die.

Before he was killed, Valentine wrote a last note to encourage Julia to stay close to Jesus and to thank her for being his friend. He signed the note: “From your Valentine.” That note inspired people to begin writing their own loving messages to people on Valentine’s Feast Day -February 14th – which is celebrated on the same day on which Valentine was martyred on February 14, 270. The feast of St. Valentine was established by Pope Gelasius I in 496.

Just to highlight few Saints- the Archangel Raphael is the patron saint of physicians, all healers, the blind, lovers and travelers. The name Raphael means ‘God’s remedy’. As he healed Tobit’s eyes he is said to heal…or to rightly have caused God’s remedy.

Archangels are members of the second choir of angels or those who stand before the throne of God. They are found in a number of religious traditions including Christianity, Islam, Judaism, and Zoroastrianism.

The feast days of Gabriel (March 24) and Raphael (October 24) were added to the Roman calendar in 1921. The 1970 revision of the calendar joined their feasts to Michael’s on Sept. 29th.

Like St. Valentine, St. Dwynwen is mentioned as the patron saint of lovers. Her feast day is January 25. Dwynwen was a daughter of the 5th Century saint Brychan Brycheiniog. She fell in love with Maelon Dafodrill, but displeased him when she rejected his sexual advances prior to marriage. She became a nun, and founded a convent at Llandwyn, on an island just off Anglesey.

This table below courtesy- Patron Saints – EWTN.com gives more elaborate details of the list of patron Saints.
http://www.ewtn.com/library/mary/patrons.htm
ROMAN CATHOLIC PATRON SAINTS

Fr Joachim Omolo Ouko, AJ
Tel +254 7350 14559/+254 722 623 578
E-mail obolobeste@gmail.com

Omolo_ouko@outlook.com
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Kenya: Of Polygamy & Healthy Talk

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To: jaluo jaluo
From: Joram Ragem

It’s early Sunday morning, and I am lying awake very satisfied next to my beautiful and flexible wife Cheruto Nyar Got. I mean she is flexible literally and metaphorically.

She has welcomed the idea of a second wife, not necessarily for purposes of satisfying my sexual needs, I mean that too, but primarily for our building a large family as God commanded us through Adam and Eve, to multiply and fill the earth. Remember never to bring forth a child you cannot care for though. May I also add that it’s for political reasons I say I need to have a large family.

Luos are being assassinated and cheated in elections and we need to change the scale in the Tyranny of Numbers equation choke! Now, let me speak to the men or women who think that the issue of a second wife is about sex. Indeed, as we age, the human male and female tend to relax a little and lose that spark that arouse the opposite sex. However, never get a second wife for that reason. She too could lose it, and you too have corrected nothing, then what? You get a 3rd, 4th….wife? The key to retaining the spark in your marriage is to be flexible literally and metaphorically.

Look, when I noticed I was not getting strong erections, I talked to Cheruto Ragem and my doctor too. The Dr thought I should try Viagra or Cialis which I did, but these medicine didn’t work for me cause my problem was psychological. Hawi Odingo helped a lot with tips on foods that work in that department. But in truth it was my brain, and you know contrary to popular opinion, the largest sex organ in the human male and female body ain’t your dick nor your breast, it’s the brain stupid! So it needs stimulation and I tell you, that’s where Cheruto for me or your partner can help a great deal.

Remember, our ancestors did not craft the word ‘Chiega’ or ‘Chuora’ for nothing. Men, there are a few things you can do though to avoid Erectile Dysfunction so you can meet Chiegi’s expectations as Chuore. Exercise your abdomen, back, pelvic and thigh muscles really good to increase blood flow to your groin and dick. Kata Otieno Aloka osewachonu maber ni ‘Kanumgo E Teko’ donge? Women, remember that God created you with a body which us guys love to see. So do all you need to do, let us see it and no sex in the dark please!

Remember the days women did not shave their armpits? Well nowadays it’s a normal thing to remove hair in the armpit for ladies. The progressive woman of today will also remove hair down there. There is really no need to spot and groom a ‘Karura Forrest’ down there anymore jowa. After all, the temperatures in Kenya stays too high for it! Well shave down there really good and see how your partner will love it. And don’t use a razor please. Otherwise you will breakout with what in Lundha my village we called ‘bundu bundu’ in South Nyanza they call ‘Okuodo’ in Nairobi they call pimples, and in Central they call ‘Boiros’! These actually are boils which in medical terms are inflammation of the hair follicles due to ingrown hair which was not removed correctly! Use hair remover lotions tho.

So as I lie here besides Cherry my wife, who is very flexible in body and mind, I let you know that I am very satisfied because of the flexibility in our relationship. We talk and do all we can to stay active. In addition to exercise and improving your looks to stimulate the brain through vision, eat the right kind of food to avoid obesity. In all, let me assure you my good people, I am up early cause I am happy, Cheruto is happy, Mr Victor is happy and so is Ms Victoria. Notice I never mentioned love anywhere, because love really has nothing to do with what I am talking about.

[Edited]
[The End]

USA & KENYA: RUMORS ABOUT THE OBAMA MARRIAGE CAUSED PANICKING IN HIS KENYAN RELATIVES HOME

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By Leo Odera Omolo In Kisumu City

PANICKING and anxiety has gripped the home of Kenyan relative of the US President Barrack Obama after a local daily newspaper made a startling speculative report that the Obama’s 21 year old marriage is headed to the rock.

THE PEOPLE, a Kenyan daily whose ownership is closely associate with the family business flagship of President Uhuru Kenyatta on Tuesday this week devoted the whole page with the banner headline “Is Obama’s glamorous marriage ending soon?

The speculative article is well illustrated with series of photographs showing the Obamas in an unusual gloomy mood during couple recent trip to South Africa for the burial of the country icon Nelson Mandela, a clear sign that President and Mrs. Obama are no longer reading from the same script.

In one of the picture had a caption showing highly agitated Mrs Obama yelles at her husband in an animated chat with blonde Danish Prime Minister, Helle Thorning Schmidt during the burial of Mandela in South Africa.

Another interesting photo is showing President Obama engrossed on his smart mobile phone as unimpressed Michelle looks away and unconcerned.

The original report appeared to have been written by a US based journalist based In Washington D.C. a Mr Tom Leonard. A visit made by this writer to the Obamas family home in Alego Nyang’oma Kogelo in Kenya’s Siaya County about 50 kilometers west of Kisumu City found the grim faced family members gathering in small groups and carrying the copies of Monday edition of the PEOPLE while discussing the issue in low tones.

Although the Obamas have yet to visit Kenya their ancestral home where the President’s, father the late Barrack Obama senior, is buried, the couple are very popular with Kenyan people of all shades of life. Many people in this region are known to be most proud of the Obamas.

And even President Obama’s eldest step brother Malik Abong’o Obama who is a businessman-cum-politician could not offer any comment. Everybody is tight lipped including the usually flamboyant step-grand mother of the US President, the 90 year old Mrs Sarah Obama. The news appeared to have hit the family like the Tsunami.

The newspaper article opened with the following phrases citing the family invitation to guests for the Michelle”s 50th birthday. The invitation email message says in part ”guests to snack.sip and dancing, but advised the guests to wear comfortable shoes and practice their dance moves.”

“ Purse-lipped Washington etiquette, but it says experts were baffled at the informality of it all.” The Obamas have always been keen to appear accessible even if the stand offers vitality is somewhat different.

The report extensively quoted the US based newspaper, The National Enquirer. It adds that the Obamas are the world’s most scrutinized couple at the best of times, but was rare to find guests at the bash who did not secretly watch them with particular interests. After all,

the last time they were photographed together at the Nelsom Mandela memorial-The First Lady was looking none too pleased as the husband posed for for photographs with the leggy blonde Danish Primier Helle Thorning Schmidt.

ENDS

THE CATHOLIC TEACHING ON DIVORCE

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From: Ouko joachim omolo
The News Dispatch with Omolo Beste
FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 29, 2013

The News Dispatch with Omolo Beste reader from New York who has requested that we hide her identity writes: “Sir, I have read your article on German bishops and I fully support them that divorced and remarried Catholics should be allowed to receive Holy Communion.

Even here in USA the divorce cases are high. I have been divorced for 9 years now and got married to another man but our Pastor here insists I cannot be allowed to wed in the church again or receive the Communion because during our first wedding we vowed that only death can separate us.

I filed the divorce case and the court allowed us to divorce. We have formalized our marriage civilly but the Pastor says the Catholic Church maintains that our first marriage is still valid and therefore cannot be allowed to wed with this man in the church.

I am fed up and sometimes I just regret why I became a Catholic. Sir I am deeply stressed and confused, yet I desire to continue receiving the Holy Communion. Otherwise thank you very much for raising this issue. Please I request you hide my identity”.

The sentiments of this lady from New York are the same with many divorced and remarried Catholics. Many would like to be allowed to receive the Communion. This is not possible because while the Catholic Church teaches that divorced Catholics can receive the sacraments, Catholics who have been divorced and remarried civilly cannot.

In the Catholic Church we do not talk of divorce but an annulment. Divorce and annulment is not the same thing; they differ in two ways: First, divorce is a civil law decree from the state, whereas an annulment is a canon law decree from the Church.

In other words, the state issues a marriage license; and the state issues a divorce decree while the Church celebrates the Sacrament of Matrimony; and only the Church can issue a Decree of Nullity (otherwise known as an annulment). This is because the Church does not believe in divorce.

The main reason for getting an annulment is that the sacrament of marriage wasn’t valid. Unlike divorce, an annulment is usually retroactive, meaning that an annulled marriage is considered to be invalid from the beginning almost as if it had never taken place.

Most annulments are based on canon 1095. It gives three conditions that would make a person unable to contract marriage from mental incapacity: (1) who lack the sufficient use of reason; (2) who suffer from grave lack of discretion of judgment concerning essential matrimonial rights and duties which are to be mutually given and accepted;
(3) who are not capable of assuming the essential obligations of matrimony due to causes of a psychic nature.

Canon 1096 further states thus: 1. For matrimonial consent to be valid it is necessary that the contracting parties at least not be ignorant that marriage is a permanent consortium between a man and a woman which is ordered toward the procreation of offspring by means of some sexual cooperation.

Error concerning the person also renders marriage invalid (Canon 1097). For example, a man may marry believing the woman to be the mother of his child, a fact which later proves erroneous. If that was the direct and primary reason he married her then his consent was conditioned by that quality.

Or, a woman may believe she is marrying into a certain family, and that quality of her fiancé is the principal and direct reason for marrying him. The motive may be specious, but it determines her consent.

Marriage based on a condition concerning the future can also not be contracted validly (Canon 1102) A condition can also be made based on past and present behavior, even though it concerns the future. For example, a man marries a woman with a past drinking problem based on her promise to live soberly.

A marriage is also invalid if it is entered into due to force or grave fear inflicted from outside the person, even when inflicted unintentionally, which is of such a type that the person is compelled to choose matrimony in order to be free from it (Canon 1103)

According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, offenses against the dignity of marriage included adultery (Cat. 2380). Adultery refers to marital infidelity. This is when two partners, of whom at least one is married to another party, have sexual relations – even transient ones – they commit adultery.

Adultery is an injustice (Cat. 2381). This is because he who commits adultery fails in his commitment. He does injury to the sign of the covenant which the marriage bond is, transgresses the rights of the other spouse, and undermines the institution of marriage by breaking the contract on which it is based.

On divorce, since the Lord Jesus insisted on the original intention of the Creator who willed that marriage be indissoluble (Cat. 2382), it explains why Catholic teaching is against the divorce.

It explains further, why divorce is a grave offense against the natural law (Cat. 2384). Divorce claims to break the contract, to which the spouses freely consented, to live with each other till death.

Divorce is immoral also because it introduces disorder into the family and into society (Cat. 2385). This disorder brings grave harm to the deserted spouse, to children traumatized by the separation of their parents and often torn between them, and because of its contagious effect which makes it truly a plague on society.

Pastors must know that, for the sake of truth, they are obliged to exercise careful discernment of situations and should not act rigidly. Where the Pastor cannot solve it is always advisable he refers the matter to the canonists.

Fr Joachim Omolo Ouko, AJ
Tel +254 7350 14559/+254 722 623 578
E-mail omolo.ouko@gmail.com
Facebook-omolo beste
Twitter-@8000accomole
Real change must come from ordinary people who refuse to be taken hostage by the weapons of politicians in the face of inequality, racism and oppression, but march together towards a clear and unambiguous goal.

-Anne Montgomery, RSCJ
UN Disarmament
Conference, 2002

KENYA LAWYERS TELLS UHURU TO SIGN THE BILL

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Subject: Kenya lawyers
To: “jaluo@jaluo.com”

By Agwanda Saye

Lawyers have urged President Uhuru Kenyatta to append his signature on the Matrimonial Property Bill 2013.

They also have called on the Judiciary to establish a division of the High Court that exclusively deals with matrimonial property.

The lawyers also proposed that Judges in the Family Division of the High Court at Milimani Law Courts be increased from two to 10 to deal with backlogs and increasing family disputes.

LSK Vice Chairperson Ms. Lilian Renee Omondi said that time had come for the country to do away ancient and unconstitutional matrimonial laws.

Family lawyer Ms. Judy Thongori said that the controversial amendments introduced by Parliament on November 12 can be addressed after President Kenyatta assents the Bill into law.

“We (Kenya) have made gains on the Bill that sending back the Bill to Parliament for debate may kill the dream,” Ms. Thongori said.

The lawyers were speaking during a joint Law Society of Kenya (LSK) and United Nations Development Fund for Women (UNIFEM) breakfast meeting at The Hilton Hotel in Nairobi.

UN Women Country Director Zebib Kavuma said that the Constitution has transformative provisions on equality and non-discrimination that should be upheld.

The Matrimonial Property Bill 2013 elicited public debate after Parliament amended a provision that spouses share matrimonial property 50-50 upon divorce.

According to the amendment by the National Assembly, spouses must prove financial contribution to acquiring matrimonial property before claiming a stake

Ms. Thongori said that the country has no law on matrimonial property arguing that the Bill has progressive sections that should not be embraced.

“There is a lot of public mis-information on the Bill. It has provisions that cater for both professional and stay at home mums on ownership of matrimonial property,” Thongori said.

Lawyer Ochieng Oduol said that the Bill should be passed into law and the Judiciary urged to establish a division that deals with matrimonial property.

“The Family Division at the Milimani Law Courts currently has only two sitting Judges to hear increasing cases on divorce and division of matrimonial property,” Mr. Oduol said.

Mr. Oduol said that the Judiciary should increase the number of Judges at the Family Division from the current two to at least 10 Judges.

Nominated Senator Ms. Judith Sijeny and Runyenjes MP Ms. Cecily Mbarire said that the Bill will be a pillar to both men and women when signed into law.

“We want President Kenyatta to sign the Bill into law then we shall deal with the few controversial clauses later,” Ms. Mbarire said.

Ends….