Colleagues Home & Abroad Regional News

BY FR JOACHIM OMOLO OUKO, AJ
NAIROBI-KENYA
THURSDAY, AUGUST 11, 2011

One of my Facebook friends recently posted on her News Feed page a very informative joke: “If money grew on trees women would date monkeys.” This is also true of Gwen Guthrie, an American singer-song writer, best known for her 1986 song: “You’ve got to have a j-o-b if you want to be with me/ No romance without finance”.

It explains why a common saying that a Kikuyu woman will treat you like a king as long as you have cash, but toss you like rotten mutura (traditional sausage) once you are broke is no longer confined to Kikuyu women alone-every woman needs ‘chapa’ (cash), especially now that Kenyan economy is almost becoming valueless.

The prices of essential commodities continue to shoot up due to weakening of Kenya shillings against US dollar. This week alone by the close of trading session on Tuesday, the local currency closed the day at new low of Sh95.05 against the dollar with dealers in the market quoting the shilling at an average of Sh95, for the first time in about 17 years.

Already there is fear that by next week according to the market projections an exchange rate may shoot up to Sh100 plus. The weaker the shillings the continuity of higher prices-it means that pay cheques will never keep up as media reports. This scenario makes everyone to love money.

That is also why the myth of sex that Kamba woman is known to be a force to reckon with, or coastal women are so idle that they spend the whole day applying henna all over their bodies, prepare elaborate weddings and cook biryani the whole day as they gossip, or Taita are said to make exemplary, humble wives, but when they make up their minds that a relationship is headed for doom, they are known to vanish back to their parents’ faster than you can say “mdavida” are gone myths.

Other myths that Luo women are said to stick to their men like glue as long as they suspect love is in the air and don’t look at another woman! If you do, she will have you and the other woman by the neck does not apply. Apart from being prided to have “drop dead gorgeous” bodies – with ‘Adhiambo sianda’ being their brand name, Luo women are believed to be good cooks and bewitching lovers.

Some men, especially Luo men like to marry Luhya women because of the myth that they are known to be modest and to have austerity, and that while they cannot stand extravagance, a Luhya woman would rather stay at home and drink numerous cups of tea than have you take her for an expensive dinner so long as there is in constant supply of ugali and Ingoho (chicken), she is yours for keeps.

The Luo men, mainly from Awendo, Dede, Migori, Ulanda, Ogwedhi, Makalda or surrounding areas of South Nyanza are said to like marrying Maragoli women not only because they believe they are easy to tame, but also because they are known to be in the business of making children, does not apply either.

The myth also has it that Kalenjin woman will never utter a word even if she smells strange perfume from you-she will not ask you from which woman did you get the perfume and where. And that men like them because they most beautiful, hardworking and wear big-hearts-former American ambassador to Kenya picked one.

Other myths have it that Maasai women are unquestionably obedient. They will never dream of correcting their menfolk. They still view their husbands as “lord of the house”.
People believe Masaai men are still glued to the custom of planting spears outside their age group member’s manyattas to warn the husband that serious business is taking place inside the manyatta and therefore will not ask you where you slept and with whom. Men also like them because they are generous with their husbands.

While Meru women are believed to be so faithful and agreeable that they will fight divorce to the bitter end even if they are living in hardship condition despite the fact that like men they can be hot tempered, Kisii woman has it in her mind that as long as you make her world rock she will never leave, even if you hire ten bulldozers to evict her from your house, like Meru women men are cautious because they can be hot tempered.

Today all these myths have been taken by time. In US for instance, unmarried couples account for more than 5.5 million households. This is because marriage means business. Without money it means no love. Your girl friend can just leave you because you refused to M-Pesa her or bamba twenty.

This is because the lack of money generated by one person in the eyes of the other can cause a problem because the expectations of the other person haven’t been met. Some working class would like to remain unmarried because they want to feel that they want to enjoy their funds alone because they are doing so well.

These are the type of women who would not like to get married because a man could use money as a symbol of power in the relationship. This is because in relationship money has proven to be the root of the problem. The man is usually the authority, and money has control and authority connected to it.

Another reason why most single professional women do not want get married as some of my Facebbok friends argue is because most single professionals are tied by careers, lack of appropriate partner or just lack of commitments and fear of responsibility, or because they are feared for what they have or education levels or the far they are careerwise.

Most single professionals online would however, like to combine forces to remove this fear and have single people take a step of faith to declare they are single and are ready for a commitment, which is why you can get them through date lines. Some women and men through such date lines have managed to get good partners for life.

Although some working class or professional single women as they are sometimes referred to would like to get married, according to the Daily Nation results of the poll published December 24, 2006, on which I was also interviewed, 63 percent of Kenya’s single women are frustrated marriage-wise because there is no man to marry them.

It explains why some single women and men have formed their own class where they prefer to be lesbians or homosexuals staying together even though most gay people disagree with this theory despite the fact that most scientists and biologists agree that there may be an environmental component to sexuality.

Of course, while some women would like to be lesbians because of the past molestation by men, especially through rape, the fact remains that some do so as a matter of choice between two options. This also applies to homosexual gays.

The good news is that professional women in their late 30s and 40s are happy, independent ‘living singles’. Some have made a deliberate decision to remain so while others argue they are still single by forced circumstances such as broken relationships, whereas majority of those in their 40s have established careers and acquired property so many men shy off from them because they feel threatened.

The bad news is for women in their 50s-they struggle with loneliness. They tend to hate men and cry over lost relationships, cursing those men who messed them up when they could have made better choices. Most of those women suffer from rejection, bitterness and stigma.

So the issue here is not sorely on money that is why for instance, there are around 150,000 divorces a year in the UK at the moment with the average marriage lasting 11 years. It’s often women who do the walking out of a marriage that has gone stale, or where both parties have grown apart.

People for Peace in Africa (PPA)
P O Box 14877
Nairobi
00800, Westlands
Kenya

Tel 254-20-4441372
Website: www.peopleforpeaceafrica.org