To: jaluo jaluo
From: Joram Ragem
It’s early Sunday morning, and I am lying awake very satisfied next to my beautiful and flexible wife Cheruto Nyar Got. I mean she is flexible literally and metaphorically.
She has welcomed the idea of a second wife, not necessarily for purposes of satisfying my sexual needs, I mean that too, but primarily for our building a large family as God commanded us through Adam and Eve, to multiply and fill the earth. Remember never to bring forth a child you cannot care for though. May I also add that it’s for political reasons I say I need to have a large family.
Luos are being assassinated and cheated in elections and we need to change the scale in the Tyranny of Numbers equation choke! Now, let me speak to the men or women who think that the issue of a second wife is about sex. Indeed, as we age, the human male and female tend to relax a little and lose that spark that arouse the opposite sex. However, never get a second wife for that reason. She too could lose it, and you too have corrected nothing, then what? You get a 3rd, 4th….wife? The key to retaining the spark in your marriage is to be flexible literally and metaphorically.
Look, when I noticed I was not getting strong erections, I talked to Cheruto Ragem and my doctor too. The Dr thought I should try Viagra or Cialis which I did, but these medicine didn’t work for me cause my problem was psychological. Hawi Odingo helped a lot with tips on foods that work in that department. But in truth it was my brain, and you know contrary to popular opinion, the largest sex organ in the human male and female body ain’t your dick nor your breast, it’s the brain stupid! So it needs stimulation and I tell you, that’s where Cheruto for me or your partner can help a great deal.
Remember, our ancestors did not craft the word ‘Chiega’ or ‘Chuora’ for nothing. Men, there are a few things you can do though to avoid Erectile Dysfunction so you can meet Chiegi’s expectations as Chuore. Exercise your abdomen, back, pelvic and thigh muscles really good to increase blood flow to your groin and dick. Kata Otieno Aloka osewachonu maber ni ‘Kanumgo E Teko’ donge? Women, remember that God created you with a body which us guys love to see. So do all you need to do, let us see it and no sex in the dark please!
Remember the days women did not shave their armpits? Well nowadays it’s a normal thing to remove hair in the armpit for ladies. The progressive woman of today will also remove hair down there. There is really no need to spot and groom a ‘Karura Forrest’ down there anymore jowa. After all, the temperatures in Kenya stays too high for it! Well shave down there really good and see how your partner will love it. And don’t use a razor please. Otherwise you will breakout with what in Lundha my village we called ‘bundu bundu’ in South Nyanza they call ‘Okuodo’ in Nairobi they call pimples, and in Central they call ‘Boiros’! These actually are boils which in medical terms are inflammation of the hair follicles due to ingrown hair which was not removed correctly! Use hair remover lotions tho.
So as I lie here besides Cherry my wife, who is very flexible in body and mind, I let you know that I am very satisfied because of the flexibility in our relationship. We talk and do all we can to stay active. In addition to exercise and improving your looks to stimulate the brain through vision, eat the right kind of food to avoid obesity. In all, let me assure you my good people, I am up early cause I am happy, Cheruto is happy, Mr Victor is happy and so is Ms Victoria. Notice I never mentioned love anywhere, because love really has nothing to do with what I am talking about.